I don't know what it is.

I feel fine.  

No you don't. Stay in bed.

No I have to go to school.

No, its fine. Nobody will even notice.

I mean I would love to stay but I need to go.

Its fine stay in bed with me. You're worthless anyway. You have no future so going to school is pointless.

You're right I should stay in. NO I HAVE TO GO. 

COME ON STAY IN BED. IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!

Okay. Okay.Okay. I'll stay here. 

Good. But you're going to miss so much work. you're gonna fail again. You're parents are going to be so disappointed. god you're so dumb why would you stay in bed. What the fuck is wrong with you. You're grades are dropping. You have nothing to do here.

GOD JUST SHUTUP. Let me sleep. I haven't slept in 3 days because of you. 

Oh don't try to blame this on me. This is all your fault. Maybe if you were nice and dressed better and weren't so fucking ugly then maybe you wouldn't have this problem. 

I know you're right. I am all those things.... Can I just sleep. Can I please just forget.

Yeah sure but once you wake up god are you going to be in trouble. YOU'RE MOMS GOING TO FLIP SHIT.

I, I know. Shit I shouldn't of done this. I still have time I can still go. 

NO DON'T GO!

WHY NOT?!

Cause.... Nobody will miss you. there's nothing important going on and if there were something important going on why would you even want to go, you're not worth it. 

You're right I'll stay here.

Okay good. But you do know you're missing so much right now. 

I KNOW GOD JUST LET ME SLEEP.

HEY DON'T YELL AT ME I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE FOR YOU! I'm the only one who cares. I stay with you all day. I don't see anybody else here with you. God you're so selfish you know that. I'm here with you night and day and yet you still yell at me. God I hope you die soon so I can just leave. Ugh why do I even stay here. God you're so mean to me. 

I, I, I'm sorry...

GOOD CAUSE YOU SHOULD BE.

I just want to sleep...

THEN GO TO SLEEP! GOD I'M NOT STOPPING YOU!

But you are...

EXCUSE YOU!? *LAUGHS INBETWEEN WORDS* OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DUMB JUST FUCKING SLEEP YOU LAZY SHIT. 

Alright good night. thanks for being here...

Anytime you piece of shit.

This is my daily struggle with my anxiety and depression. I'm constantly torn between wanting to leave but always being so tired or scared. My inner demons always get the best of me. They always win. I feel as though my depression is my only friend. 

I don't know what it is.